Lincoln turned one this month. Can you believe it?? Because I sure can’t. I’m still in shock that it’s been one year with my boy. It was 10/6/21 at 4:28 pm when he came into this world. With that being said this calls for a celebration, right? Of course it does but this celebration came with lessons that I’ve learned along the way.
In the midst of preparing for this day, I was in planning mode 24/7. Scouring for ideas that fit the theme that I was looking for, making purchases, setting a day/time, looking for cake/cupcake ideas. Now if I’m being honest, this whole process was very draining. Let’s just say I have no future in event planning with how stressful this experience was. Although that was most likely my fault.
I’m writing this post, not only to document the milestone, but also to make note of some of the lessons that I’ve learned over this process.
So let’s see what we’ve learned
1. I’ve learned that less is more. I went overboard with party supplies and potential ideas to create this grand event. I’ve made purchases that I either regretted or just didn’t need. I didn’t properly plan out what I would need due to being indecisive/changing ideas around. I’m a firm believer that money comes and goes but think of the money I could’ve saved if I set more realistic expectations. Or if I would’ve stuck to the original idea while keeping things simple because despite this celebration being a huge deal, part of me wanted to remain low key. Keep this little celebration more intimate. Savor the moment with my boy and family that loves him.
I guess the pressure of seeing other moms put in so much effort to create this huge party for their kids kind of got to me. Also the level of pressure I set on myself to begin with was unnecessary. I should’ve stuck to what I wanted instead of forcing myself for more when that’s not what I wanted or needed to achieve.
2. Social media can be very toxic. I’m one to scroll through socials often, but it has made my mental health so bad lately. I found that I was comparing myself to others and what they’ve done. It led me to get my hopes up and set unrealistic expectations. I found myself stressed when I didn’t need to be. Do I have enough money for this or that? Is it worth the time/effort/energy? Would I have time? All these questions kept circling. Keep in mind that as I mentioned before I had spent a lot of money for this. I can’t say the exact amount because I have no idea and I don’t think I want to know. But I have to make note that spending money or putting in the extra effort for your child is always going to be worth it. But if you have seen some of the things out there that people have put together for their one year old, you’d understand completely the pressure and frustration.
I mean here I was, first time mom. I have no experience with kids birthday parties. I have no idea how to plan one. What is appropriate for each birthday party? Is what I see on the socials of these grand events normal? Honestly thought I would be less of a mother for not achieving something so grand. I felt let down. Is what I wanted good enough? I did not want so many people around either. But then I thought do I need to invite more people? If I’m being even more honest I didn’t want to put in money for a smash cake. Which I’ve learned is very popular. I would have rather gotten a regular sized cake for everyone. Although Lincoln was not too fond of the smash cake. Took some convincing for him to try a bite. But what am I saying is that we’ve gotta be careful with social media. It can make you feel worse about yourself and your actions more so than not.
3. First birthday’s are more for the parents. It’s safe to say that Lincoln won’t remember his first birthday. I mean they’ll be pictures and videos and stories that I’ll get to share with him, but he most likely won’t be able to recall that day. I knew this beforehand but what makes the difference now is that I don’t need to feel guilty for not making a big idea or grand gesture come to life right now. In the future, when Lincoln has the ability to remember events like this and is able to really participate in them is when it might be worth putting in the effort for something more.
4. This day is important for BOTH of us. I mean it is a huge milestone. But it’s also a milestone for me. One year ago, he came into this world and made me a mother. It’s one year of parenting for me. This isn’t meant to sound selfish but I have realized that it is important to acknowledge your wins as well especially as a parent. After all it’s not easy. This is a way of saying “I made it and I’m proud of that.” Lincoln and I have had our ups and downs this past year. From coming into terms between being so sleep deprived and that it will last a long time to figuring out a routine for myself and Lincoln. To adjusting to motherhood. Getting to know Lincoln. From the time that I got sick just a month after giving birth to Lincoln’s first cold. There are so many memories both good and not so great that we’ve got to experience together.
We both have come a long way since then and it’s good to acknowledge that. I remember being terrified of motherhood when I was pregnant. To being scared of labor and delivery. To being so worried for myself and Lincoln after getting the okay to bring him home. I knew nothing about taking care of babies. Nothing at all about parenting. Still a learning process for me. But I’ve realized that that process is the same for all parents. We learn new things every day. We are confused. We are frustrated. We are so exhausted. But at the end of the day we are grateful for these little humans who made us parents.
5. Kids really do grow fast. This is when I’m grateful to have as many pictures/videos as possible. Now I get why my mom was obsessed with getting our pictures. Like I mentioned earlier, I wasn’t savoring the time we had left before the big birthday. I say that like I’ve failed (which I haven’t) but it’s important for me to spend as much time as I can with Lincoln. Everyone warned me how fast babies/kids grow up. And now I get it.
In September, I wasn’t present with Lincoln. I was so concerned with planning that I neglected the time spent with him. They tell you over and over that time goes by so fast with kids but you never know how true that is until you are the one experiencing it. I mean just the other day, I was snuggling a newborn and now he is crawling around, babbling and looking more like a little boy every day.
This makes 5 tips/lessons for future birthday’s. I know I’ll need them. And I hope it helps you get over the hump of the uncertainties over first birthdays. It will be special regardless of what/how you do it.
Okay let’s get into the party details. No more rambling
It was a very woodsy forest theme with green as like the main color scheme with some fall colors mixed in (orangy red, brown, cream) Lincoln is my fall baby so the colors were very fitting. The main supplies that I got were balloons (in the colors mentioned above). I purchased this pack of balloons with this color scheme. It came with so many balloons in varying sizes. I also got an electric pump to fill them. The high chair garland is from Amazon. Has a number 1 with green, gold and cream ribbons. Easy to attach. Just tie around the high chair. I also taped the sides because I knew Lincoln would be playing with the ribbons (as he should).
Also used this photo wood board (the wood itself fit the theme really well) saw this all over the internet. Of course I wanted one as well. Purchased mine from Etsy. Sent the pictures to be printed out at my local Walgreens and taped them on
This “One” and picture banners were another few of my favorites. I sent a lot of pictures to be printed so I’m glad I had another spot for them. The “one” banner is similar to the high chair banner with the ribbons and greenery. I liked that they matched but the number one here is spelled out and the “one” in the other one is just the number. Not planned but I liked that little difference
These in the box were to top off the cake. They were also edible. And these cupcake toppers with Lincoln’s face on them. I love the party hat. We had barbecue food. Cheese and crackers. Veggie tray. Ice cream with the cupcakes
A close up of the picture banner. It does start with “October 6” for his birth date as the first spot
Love/hate relationship with the cake
Opening presents
Added this in because this was taken the night before Lincoln turned 1.
Everything you see here was either purchased from Etsy or Amazon. We got the cake/cupcakes from a local baker. Like I mentioned earlier I made lots of purchases for this that I regretted because I didn’t use them.
Such as an extra high chair banner. Party favors. 1 pack of plain white balloons. A banner in black that said “wild one.” Ordered too many other cupcake toppers. They looked like little leaves. I saved those though. That was a purchase I did not regret. Just didn’t have enough to use all the toppers. Balloons that said “wild one.” I got 2 packs because they were cheap and I was worried I’d pop a whole or something inflating them. Like a back up. Didn’t use them because inflating balloons is very time consuming. And I had help with the balloons but my help was not eager to inflate anymore balloons so I let it go. We each did 1 letter. I should’ve insisted though even if it meant doing those myself. I did save the other one. Even just for memory. I now have a party supplies tote. Also got Lincoln a party hat in a black and caramel color because again they were cheap. But Lincoln was not cooperating so I let that go as well. I saved those as well because again for memory and they were cute. It had a little pom on the top.
The back drop in the first picture is a regret only because it was insanely expensive. I have 2 and they had to be purchased separately. Gonna have to reuse that a ton or sell it.
Now that I’ve gone through everything next time I have to make sure to be more assertive in my decisions and overall planning. No second guessing. Changing my mind or being “ok” with something for someone else’s convenience.
I think I’ve rambled enough. I really hope this has helped someone. Or if any of you can relate. Overall I am satisfied with how this turned out. I got to celebrate my baby’s birthday. Regardless of the outcome, reminiscing on our memories together, looking back at my favorite pictures/videos of him, taking time off from work that week to be with him is all I wanted. The planning process was not exactly ideal though. That part could possibly improve for next time.
I will see you in my next post
-L
Sincerely Salty Hair 